So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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