Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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