no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
