Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize