I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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