all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
