How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
