Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
