Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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