google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
