watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am available for nakedness
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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