you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
