I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
