you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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