Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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