Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
