Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
