If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
