hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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