Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
