ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize