I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
