So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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