U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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