she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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