it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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