I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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