But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize