I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He? As in you personified your dick?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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