hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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