I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
