i barfeds in our rink
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize