as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
