i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
