He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry about my life...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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