So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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