I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
