Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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