I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
