You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
