just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
