Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Are we still banned from the library?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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