And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize