How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize