You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
