I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
