I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize