so that wasnt chicken after all
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
