from now on my penis is your penis
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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