We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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