So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize