those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
