Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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