wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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