I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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