Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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