just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
