I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
