i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
