I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have fence marks all over my body
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
