i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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